The Planet was doomed.
Not from the scourge of mankind and all our misguided decisions to consume all the fossil fuels and use up all the resources. Not from our use of chlorofluorocarbons in our hair sprays and roach sprays. Not from the explosion of our population worldwide and no way to feed every mouth. No, all those would have eventually killed us. The world was doomed by outside forces of business and economics among alien races that had no idea mankind existed. Well, up until about twenty minutes ago they did not know we existed.
The Intergalatic Department of Industrial Outsourcing and Teleportation Services (IDIOTS) planned to use the nine planets in our solar system as crude fuel for their freighters. It was a busy time for them as they were transporting workers from one job site to another. The IDIOTS were booked for years transporting workers and jobs across the galaxy.
But on this particular day the newest member of the crew was at the data analysis terminal and decided to follow all protocols in the New Recruit handbook, Edition 450A. This new edition was supposed to ensure every recruit had a chance to become captain one day.
This newest member of the crew had always been an over achiever and this new assignment wasn’t going to be any different. He wanted to impress this new captain. The last captain he served under didn’t like him all that much. Something about jettisoning cargo and the captain’s mother’s body being among said cargo.
As this recruit was excelling at his job a small alien stumbled onto the deck. Usually IDIOTS would not give a second thought to an insignificant race such as Humans, but it just happen that a liberal, bleeding heart conservationist blindly stumbled through the sliding doors and into the darkened bridge of the fleet command ship and saw the results of the scan after his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room.
Everyone on board the command ship thought of this protector of the weak as an insignificant annoyance who was required to be on ship for the yearly inspections.
He was a little eight-armed man whose six bulbous eyes were not accustomed to the harsh lighting in the corridors of the command ship. He had to squint his way around the ship because the ships captain was trying very hard to keep the lights at maximum illumination. It was during his blind wandering that the conservationist stumbled onto the bridge. He had actually been looking for the cafeteria to enjoy his fifth meal of the night. These IDIOT command ships always had the best midnight buffets.
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